My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
