Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Michael Bay diarrhea
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize