So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
