nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
