She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
