I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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