I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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