It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
