There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
