If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
