Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
