just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A bitchslap is in order.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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