i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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