mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize