He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
