Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
