I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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