A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
