bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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