It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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