Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
