I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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