the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
