A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
