the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
