just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
