tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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