just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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