dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
