Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
