i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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