you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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