could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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