he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
