He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
