i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
