Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
