In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
