I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
