I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just cut my nipple shaving
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
