The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think weed is turning my hair brown
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize