More tranny stories later!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
