STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
