I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
