Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
