wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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