I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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