I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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