just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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