Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
