I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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