Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
