there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
