i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
