Where is the hickey?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize