Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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