i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
3 2 1 whiskey
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
