I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
