Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
