According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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