never play flip cup with pint glasses
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
