I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
