hotel room ftw
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
