he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i think i have two assholes
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
