does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize