Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
