so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
we should paint friendship bongs
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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