Barsexuality is the new black.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There's even glitter on my cock...
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