JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
